End of Relationship Report
So we have had the weirdest relationship. Its noteworthy. Why the relationship failed is disclosed below… I have done my best to make this interesting to read, without exaggerating or fibbing any portion of the story.
I. The Buildup
So Lena has been single since the middle of the summer. We both went to a weekend retreat together with a campus organization (SEA) but I didn’t talk to her again until the end of September.
When she started commenting on every photo, status update and note I posted on facebook. “I just want to annoy you.”
Well around that time I came to the conclusion that it was time for me to open up again and make myself available for dating.
(When I broke up with my previous gf in October 08 after she tried to kill herself. (Still don’t have a clue why) And I was kinda through with dating after that.)
But I really didn’t have anyone in mind now.
Oct 5th Lena worries that I might be getting sick so she shows up at the Clemson house and surprises me with a get well basket and a jacket of hers.
Oct 6th 1:58am, “Gabe…if you become a grumpy old man with high standards and i become a bitter old maid with shattered hopes… Could we hang out sometime? We could play bridge, i hear old folks like that game. I’ll bring my 32 cats.”
Lena and myself are in a class together and she started giving me intense amounts of eye contact when we would talk.
We started texting ALL the time. Sometimes till 2 in the morning. It was like we were back in high school…
It was neat how we began texting each other positive affirmations of how good the day was going to be as soon as one of us woke up. She would pretend to get upset with me whenever it was cloudy, and say that I wasn’t doing my job….
Now don’t make fun of me, but it wasn’t until the end of October that I realized “Hey, she likes me, I need to tell her that I feel the same way!”
So that night I rush out and buy her some flowers. I had been talking with Blake Storey (One of my top 5 buds) and he recommended me to get this plant that she tried growing once, and give it to her. Well I looked into it, but It was out of season. So by the end of the day, with a lot of driving around, I settled on some roses. Cheesy but I figured I could be creative about it.
I made this card on the front it said something like, “I am glad I have gotten to know you.”
and on the back it said, “May you never learn to play bridge. -Gabe”
Brought the flowers to her house. She wasn’t home, I left it outside her door.
She tells me the next day, “Thanks for the flowers that was really sweet, Gabe I want you to know you are a great friend.”
She stops texting me so much. Things slow down.
But it wasn’t long before we started talking again. We begin spending hours talking on the phone almost every night. This was a good sign. Before I made another move, I knew that I needed some questions answered, and over the phone wasn’t the way to ask.
By the second week in November, I figured it was time to ask her once and for all.
It was a Friday the 13th, she agrees to play racquetball with me. It took some convincing though b/c she said that she didn’t like sports. I ask my friend Michelle to join us. Lena and I sing songs together the entire way to Fike. After racquetball I ask Lena…
“Yes! Wait. Are you serious?”
Taken back, a shaky “Yes” slips out.
“Gabe, I don’t know, You don’t have time for me. It would be best if we were just friends.”
Her eyes begin to water.
Michelle re-enters the room just in time to clear the static.
We three hang out, talking/shooting-the-breeze for the next 2 hours.
I am determined at this point to show her that I can spend time with her.
By the next Tuesday, I get my chance. I serve her a candlelit dinner in my room. Starting with a Baltic Salad and some Capri-Suns that being followed with a Chicken Wrap, and pasta salad. Served with Chocolate milk and TeddyGrahams for dessert.
During Dinner I make a promise to her, “If I promise to show you the time you deserve, will you be my girl friend?”
With a large dorky smile she agrees.
Over next month we begin to see each other every day. I found that instead of eating by myself, I could eat with Lena. Sound like a no brainer, but college is rough on the head sometimes ;)
“But if it comes down to a zombie apocalypse, we can hide and fight together. Pinky promise?” -Lena
We quickly learned that we could spend time together. When you have someone to keep you laughing we found it fun to pull all night study groups together. On the 23th while cutting up in Martian Lab, she choose our song. “Do you realize” by the Flaming Lips… We also found time over the semester to look at the stars together.
“Do you see that halo around the moon?”
“Yes, that is so strange. How can you see your car from here?”
“I’m taller than you that’s why. I don’t mind though”
“Me neither.”
During thanksgiving break, after we saw the movie The Blind Side. Later, I asked her over the phone when we were going to make it facebook official. She tells me how she thinks we are moving to fast, and she got out of a ‘bad’ relationship and wants some time to clear her head.
“If we could wait till the end of the semester, [and] to see how things are between us then…”
I would do my homework with Lena while she worked in studio. As I have been doing all semester, I would bring her a dinner or a snack when I would come to see her.
B/c of Lena, I had my first Peanut Butter and Honey sandwich.
But I began to see writing on the wall. It was becoming evident that we were on a decline. It sounds kiddish, but she slowly stopped texting me back. I began to see this guy hanging around Lena. His name was Robert, I never thought anything of it. Lena talked about how awkward he was…. On the 3rd of December we pulled an all nighter and ended it by watching the sun rise from the lake off of airport road. In the quiet stillness of day break, I was so happy to share this moment with her. It was freezing cold and we snuggled close but 
I didn’t hold her hand or kiss her. I felt it was best if we were going to take it slow. Plus I really didn’t want to. I wanted this moment to be what it was and I wasn’t going to try to turn it into some attempt to capitalize on the moment. I especially wanted to make this a memory that would last, not one that would turn sour whenever we parted ways.
“P.s. You are amazing. I am constantly surprised and delighted…love getting to know you, dear!” -December 9th
She colored me a picture, and began to call me “PupCake” I had been using, “Lenacake” so the nicknames stuck. Last day of school, I drew her a “Beaver Dam” nature scape.
We go swing dancing at the Handlebar in greenville at the start of break. Robert was there giving Lena the cold shoulder and piercing looks. While talking to a girl I met, Robert steps infront of me, cutting me off to ask if she wanted to dance. Lena’s roommate Marie saw this and said that he was a jerk.
Swing Dancing proved to be an addiction. I quickly learned the basic moves and left that night constantly thinking about dancing. Lena taught me alot that Tuesday night, and her non-judgmental completion towards my left feet was comforting. She was the best dance partner ever, and I was glad we were friends. Before we left together I shook Robert’s hand. I didn’t think anything of it, I said goodbye to all my friends that way. To this day I still think the fact of me doing that messes with his head.
After that night, I find myself texting Lena, with little response. She leaves that Friday to a swing dancing workshop and dance in Columbia, with Robert…
II. The Breakdown
I don’t blame her, I might have done the same thing with me being in her shoes.
Lena is Amazing. Creative, always funny, witty, tech savvy, and easy going, I never felt awkward around her. Between the weird dorky things I do, she always seems to do the same things. I would think of something and text it to her and she would just about to text me the same thing. At first I marked it up to the thing that new couples do where you often like alot of what the other person likes. But then It would keep happening, and I started to get weird-ed out. At first I thought that she had to be lying or exaggerating but then I came to accept it. It was like we shared a ‘brain lobe’.
We never dated. We were always just friends. It was clear that we were interested in each other. Misreading her, I was always behind and just assumed that we had time to grow closer.
In the end, our relationship fell apart b/c I took it to slow. Lena was off and on with Robert. So looking back now, Lena was always ‘Taken’. Any small window of chance I had to sweep her off her feet, was missed by me when Rob came back into the picture. The plan was to always sweep her off her feet. Here I was trying to build a relationship with Mrs Lenacakes. And there he was with a relationship already built. Knowing him more and for longer, It was simpler for Lena to allow him to reenter her life. On Dec 21st she clarified how she felt with me… She didn’t have to tell me really. I knew, I had seen it coming…
We were always just friends
